Learn how to champion your child's love for sports, ensuring their journey is filled with encouragement, joy, and the kind of support that goes beyond just their score.
How competitive are you? While competitiveness isn't inherently negative, and striving to win is a natural aspect of athletics, it's crucial to balance this with recognizing other positive aspects of your child's performance. Celebrate their effort and sportsmanship, fostering a growth mindset rather than fixating solely on results.
Parents often demonstrate various forms of competitiveness, but it's important to avoid toxic displays of this passion. Such behavior can harm both the parent's and the athlete's mental health. Parents should self-assess their communication and consider whether their definition of "best" aligns with their child's. Be mindful that post-game criticism, intended to be constructive, can be perceived negatively by your child.
Be cautious not to seek vicarious success through your child's athletic achievements, as this can add undue pressure. Parents might unintentionally project onto their children the frustrations and unfulfilled ambitions from their own athletic experiences. It's healthier to practice reflective listening and respect the athlete's need for silence at times.
Consider the pressure your child might face from community athletic standards. In some places, athletic success heavily influences a child's perceived worth, leading them to equate their value with their athletic performance. This can be detrimental, as it narrows their identity to just being an athlete, overshadowing other qualities.
As sport parents, it's essential to convey that winning isn't the sole purpose of sports. Avoid comparing your child's performance with others, as this can lead to competitiveness among parents themselves. Remember, competitive sports aren't suited for everyone. Many find fulfillment in physical activity and self-competition. Athletes often cherish the camaraderie in sports more than the competition itself.
Being talented in sports brings attention and a sense of capability to a child, but it can also create pressure. They may feel the need to excel athletically to gain acceptance, including from their parents. Reassure them of your unconditional love and reflect on how your competitive spirit manifests. Research shows that young athletes most want to hear, “I love to watch you play,” after a game—no critique, just unconditional support.
Cherish this joy and privilege.
Dr. Carrie Hastings is a licensed clinical and sport psychologist with over 15 years of experience and serves as the Team Psychologist for the Los Angeles Rams. She is a Certified Mental Performance Consultant with the Association for Applied Sport Psychology and is recognized in the United States Olympic Committee Sport Psychology and Mental Training Registry. Dr. Hastings combines her athletic background and psychological expertise to promote total wellness and peak performance among athletes.
